I consider myself a pretty mentally strong person, for the most part. I practice gratitude, meditate daily and pride myself on being pretty resilient. But as with anything in life, there’s always room for improvement. If I had to pinpoint one of my biggest challenges, it would be constantly playing negative ideas or things said to me by others people, repeatedly in my mind. It’s a horrible feeling, as I’m sure some of you might know.
Often, people go through life with one foot on the gas and the other foot on the brake. Giving up the things mentally strong people don’t do is like taking your foot off the brake. You’ll move forward with less resistance.
Everyone engages in habits that drain them of mental strength from time to time. But being aware of those bad habits is the first step in giving them up.
Here’s a list from the book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do to help better guide you:
1. They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
Wallowing in self-pity or magnifying your misfortune and exaggerating your hardship can often make us feel worse. It causes us to dwell on our problems and stay stuck in our misery. Simply put…don’t do this
2. They don’t give away their power.
No matter of a person’s status, no one has power over you or your emotions. Retaining your power is about acknowledging that you are in control over how you think, feel, and behave at all times.
3. They don’t shy away from change.
Change feels scary, because there is no guarantee doing something different will improve your life. But shying away from change will prevent you from growing stronger and becoming better.
4. They don’t focus on things they can’t control…they surrender
Time and energy are finite resources, so it’s important to devote your efforts to the things that you can control. So while you can’t prevent the storm from happening, you can control how you prepare for it.
5. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone.
Only you can control your emotions. It’s not your job to try and make other people happy. In fact, being a people pleaser will cause you to lose sight of your values, and your self-worth will become dependent on other people’s opinions of you.
6. They don’t fear taking calculated risks.
Just because something feels scary doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s risky. Taking the right risks will challenge you to reach your greatest potential.
7. They don’t dwell on the past.
Reflecting on the past is healthy, but dwelling on it keeps you stuck. The only time you can change your behavior is now, so stay present in the moment so you can take action.
8. They don’t make the same mistakes over and over.
Put your energy into learning from your mistakes–not covering them up. Acknowledge your missteps and commit to doing better next time.
9. They don’t resent other people’s success.
Comparing yourself with other people leads to resentment. And over time, resentment can turn into bitterness. The only person you should compare yourself with is the person you were yesterday.
10. They don’t give up after the first failure.
Failure is proof that you’re pushing yourself to your limits. But just because you failed once doesn’t mean you are a failure.
11. They don’t fear alone time.
Setting aside time to be alone with your thoughts every day or meditating can be a challenge in today’s fast-paced world. But reflecting on your progress and creating plans to create the kind of life you want to live is key to reaching your greatest potential.
12. They don’t feel the world owes them anything.
You’ll never find out how much you have to give if you’re too busy keeping track of what you think you should get. An entitled attitude will cause you to become a passenger, rather than the driver, in your own life.
13. They don’t expect immediate results.
Although technology gives us instant gratification in many ways, real change takes time. Expecting to reach your goals overnight will cause you to give up far too soon. Look at your goals as like a marathon, rather than a sprint.
Of course, giving up your bad habits is only half the battle if you want to grow stronger. But building mental resilience will be much more effective once you give up the bad habits that are holding you back.